The seasons of grief

By Diane Dennis

Lifestyles Northwest, Mar 1, 2007, Updated Oct 30, 2009 (3 Reader comments)

Diane Dennis is a life transition coach appearing monthly on television’s “AM Northwest.” Contact her for seminars, coaching or workshops on transitions at www.lifetransitionguide.com or call 503-972-3441.

Born on March 3, 1916, in a small town in Iowa, she was a farmer’s daughter who milked cows, cooked whatever food she pulled from the ground and dreamed of a big city, anywhere but there.

She died a handful of years ago; my mind won’t recall the exact date as that part of me that preserves memories has sealed off certain information air-tight. Besides, when she died doesn’t matter when weighed against all the recollections that left an undeniable dent in my heart.

They say you will get over losing a loved one – eventually. All it takes is time, I’ve heard. Well, I’ve given it time, and the blow has softened, but I’ll never get over her, in part because I don’t want to. I’ve learned that just because she has died doesn’t mean she is gone.

It is a double-edged sword that cuts both ways when a loved one has a chronic illness for which there is no cure. On one side, you have time to say good-bye and, more importantly, more profound hellos. My gut had a talk with my head when she became short of breath walking through the mall and had bouts of cardiac arrhythmia that sent her, in the middle of the night, to the E.R.

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