A new life, a whole new 'normal'

By diane dennis

Lifestyles Northwest, Jan 1, 2007, Updated Oct 30, 2009

Recently my friend Jane went through a divorce. She had been married, as she puts it, “forever.” Long ago, before falling in love getting married and having kids, she was trained and worked as a floor nurse at a local hospital.

After the birth of her second child, Jane happily became a stay-at-home mom. After the kids left for college, she settled into a part-time job, biding her time until she and her husband could sail off into the retirement sunset.

But it wasn’t to be. Now, instead of falling back on their comfortable nest egg, the nest has been split and the eggs divvied up. Jane’s first impulse was to go back to work as a nurse for a few more years. The problem was that her heart wasn’t in it. In fact, the thought of emptying bedpans, shift work and support hose made her depressed.

Then one day, she couldn’t get out of bed. In a panic she did her own personal assessment. All of her limbs were moving, ruling out a stroke. Her heart beat steady. She could see fine, hear well, and her thinking wasn’t impaired. What was wrong then?

Jane pulled herself together and went to a doctor who gave her a perfect score on her health exam. Then it hit her. She was dying. Not the kind of death where you get your affairs in order, say good-bye to your loved ones and make last wishes. She was dying a spiritual death.

Jane had developed skills and knowledge in her years of marriage. She had developed new desires and passions. Jane loved caring for people; she was just tired of the routine of nursing. Drawing blood and inserting catheters had lost its challenge. She wanted more.

With a school loan and a prayer, Jane went back to school. This year she graduates with a bachelor’s degree in psychology. She’s going on for her master’s. Today, she’s not only able to get out of bed, she can’t wait for her day to start.

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